This is the point in my life where I start to reevaluate everything and just start thinking about the more important stuff to come in the near future. Getting older means more freedom, but also a lot more responsibilities, and a lot harder decisions to make. We go through a lot just to be happy at the end
So scared of what the future has to offer. The fact that my grades in college haven’t been up to par with what I’ve wanted, or even with my peers scares me. I’m so scared that my future won’t workout just because my GPA wasn’t good enough. Shit like this got me so stressed. If I do graduate with a degree, but I don’t get a job, what would I do? Right now that’s the scariest thing ahead of me. I want to be something in the future. I want to know that something good is set stone for me sometime in the next few years. I need that assurance that everything I’m doing now will be definitely worth it in the end and will secure me a nice career. I need to know that I’ll be making enough money to support myself and hopefully my future family, and of course to pay back my parents for all that they’ve done. I’m so damn tired of complaining all the time but what else do you do when you’re 95% stressed and get no sleep everyday? Too much of stress isn’t good for you so I guess writing about it is the best way to relieve some of that. I need something to ease my mind. I want to be happy in my future. I want to be happy with my career, or job. I want and need something that will fulfill my desires, and I know that I want my career, or job to have something to do with my passions and interests.
Why does college require you to choose a major so quickly? Life isn’t a race, so why is it that most people have to graduate in 4 years? What if we chose our majors when we finally find ourselves. I know there’s more people like me out there. I honestly am just starting to find myself in my second year of college. Growing older and seeing things in a more mature manner really helped with that. I am a completely different person than I was two years ago when I was thinking of what to major in. I started to find my real passion in art, fashion, desing, and the whole culture that comes along with it. It just seems like people that are in the industry are so happy and content with their life and that’s honestly what I want to be. I know that money can’t buy you happiness, but if you really think about it, you can’t be genuinely happy without money. Money is there to help keep us on our feet and help keep us living, so without it how are we going to live? Also I’ve made really strong relationships in college so far and I can definitely see those people in my future. People I share interests with, study with, go out with, and just people I definitely see eye-to-eye with. Along the way, I’ve dropped some people too, but that’s life, and that’s what happens when the necessary mutuality in friendships dissipates.
Sigh, I wish I truly knew what’s in store for the future for me. Some people are born with the great minds to get to where they wanna be. They know where they wanna go right off the jump. I thought I was one of those people. I guess shit changes a lot over time. Life isn’t easy, ,either is it fair, but you just gotta do what you gotta do and stay on your feet.